Prepare for my rant..

People really confuse me. How can things between two people be so great one minute.. then you don't talk at all? Nothing you know of really caused this distance, I guess you just grew apart? I don't understand this. Why do we just stop? Why is it so easy to move on? I don't understand and it really upsets me. I can put my heart and soul into a relationship with you, then you just stop? Completely? Betrayal is something I don't handle very lightly.This is my problem in life: I trust too easily, I love too deep. I like to confine in other people, and I like for them to confine in me. Although I'd like to believe everyone is trustworthy and dependable.. That statement is false. There are only a select few people I can honestly trust. This lesson is one I've learned multiple times. You'd think I'd learn by now?

I hate being lied to as well. I'm sorry for believing in telling the truth. I don't appreciate when others completely deny something to my face, when we both know good and well you're making up some great bs. This goes back to betrayal. Betraying others, especially your so called "friends", and not being honest with them doesn't make you look any better sweetheart, no matter how good of a story you're telling. This has really been sitting on my chest for a while. I'm glad I have blogged about it . :)

I really wish I could fly. Peter Pan makes it look so fun. I wish I could just fly away, and leave all the world behind. Just let loose, me and the big blue sky..Soaring thru the crisp night air. Doesn't it sound amazing? I have lots of questions. Why can't humans fly? Why don't we have beautiful angel wings? I hate not knowing. I wish God had a telephone, I'd call him.

 Tonight, like every other night, I spent time with Elise.I do like her alot. I mean, yes. We all have "bestfriends", and believe me- I''ve had my fair share of people that I thought were my "bestie". But there is just something about the friendship that Elise and I have, it's something I really cherish. We became friends in the most ridiculous way.. but we became bestfriends thru something so real, through our struggles. Before she ran away, we were good friends, we hung out often. But after, once I realized she needed me, once she realized I was there for her when she needed a friend, that's when we realized we were best friends. I love having a person I can talk to about anything, someone who genuinly understands where I'm coming from and can handle my flaws. I've never really had a friend like Elise. She is real. She is honest. She has real-life problems. And she admits these things. I love that about her. I wish everyone could admit their problems. I have a hard time with this. I think we weigh each other out in this aspect. Although she is completely honest, she still encourages me more than I could ever encourage myself. She reminds me of how beautiful and wonderful I am, even though she knows she can't make me believe it, and that she's probably wasting her time. She is always on my side, and will never let me dig a hole deeper than I know how to get out of.  I don't know what I'm going to do without her if that time ever comes. We spend almost every second with each other, and never really argue. Even though I'm quite abusive. She knows me better than I know myself most days. I just really am thankful for Elise. She means the world to me, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that she is my best friend. God is great. He has blessed me with a wonderful, beautiful, and absolutely fabulous bestfriend that I love beyond measure.

Country music pretty much sums up my life. I love it with all my heart and soul. I fantasize about becoming a country star.. Too bad I can't sing or play guitar. I guess I'll just keep listening to Miranda & Brad. :))

K bye.   -jo :)