Dreams & Wine.

I've been asked thousands of times throughout my life, "What are your dreams?" It seems like a simple enough question. But what is a dream? Whom or what makes that dream a real dream? How does a dream form? I have many dreams, some of which are for my personal benefit, others seem more complex and involve people other than just me. How do I know what I'm fantasizing over is qualified enough to be considered a dream? How do I know my dreams? Whenever asked this question: "What are your dreams?", many people ramble on and on about making a team, becoming a doctor, or even finding love. I like to dream about the smaller things. Like going on a date, eating some icecream. Or seeing someone smile. Maybe even painting my toenails a different color. Who made the rule that dreams have to be big? I hate that people automatically determine character from someones dreams. No two people are exactly alike.. so why judge someone based on their dreams? I personally dream to learn how to play guitar. I dream to lose weight by getting into shape. I dream to make everyone I come into contact with laugh. I dream for crisp fall air and all the beautiful colors it brings. I dream big, but I still treasure the dreams which seem a bit smaller. I despise that some people refuse to answer this question. Everyone dreams. Everyone has some sort of goal or something they wish to complete in their life. So share those dreams. Don't be ashamed. I personally have no issue answering this question. I love to share my dreams.

Jesus drank wine. He really did. There are several examples of this in the bible, and I'm pretty sure that the bible is correct. Miranda Lambert also sings a song about this (Heart Like Mine). I don't really understand how or why people think differently. As a lutheran, I have grown up in a church which drinks real wine during communion. Yes, we have to wait until our Confirmation day, where we declare our faith in Christ and promise to live out our lives for Him, to take part in communion. & Yes, we have to fully understand what is really going on while we are communing before we are allowed to participate in the sacrament.. we understand that Jesus' real body and blood are present thru and with the bread & wine. So why is drinking wine such an issue for many other denominations? Read John 2. John 2 was actually Jesus' first miracle.. it tells us about the wedding in Cana of Galilee. Jesus' mother went to this wedding, along with Jesus and his disciples. Mary told Jesus there was no wine at the wedding.. and trusted Jesus to handle this situation without really telling Him to do so. I like this about Mary, she completely believed and trusted in Jesus.. but thats getting into an entire different subject. Anyways, Jesus took matters into His own hands and told them to fill the barrels to the brim with water.. so they did it. And ta-da!!! WINE!!! And this wine wasn't just any wine.. it was the best of the best.. I mean, look at who created it.. JESUS!! Isn't it amazing? I love this story.. my summary of it may not be the best, but it'll get my point across. Luke 22 also informs us about Jesus drinking wine. Luke 22 tells us about the Last Supper. In verse 19, Jesus took  the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you." With this said, why do people substitute wine for grape juice? I don't really understand this. I guess it's because I am a Lutheran.. I like Martin Luther. He was a very good fellow. I wish I had the guts he had.

k bye.    -jo :)

The Man-Laugh

Icecream is my drug. I cling to it when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm bored, and when I'm mad. Its probably a good thing I'm a christian.. well for reason other than my eternity in heaven with Jesus... If I didn't praise and worship God and obey the 1st commandment.. I am pretty positive I'd be praisin some icecream. I must admit this sounds a tad bit ridiculous.. or reee-dickkkyyyy-lussss as my dear little friend Carter might say. I do not discriminate icecream. I like it all. I could literally eat it for every meal. I sometimes pretend my throat hurts so my mommy will take me to Dairy Queen.. isn't this a sad sad confession? I am hereby declaring myself an oholic to icecream. Hmm. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now, anyone who reads my blog is obligated to an icecream date with Jordan. I do LOVE Zen Beri, Dairy Queen, Sonic, ChickFilA, Dairy Delite, Steak & Shake.. gosh, I love it all.. Just sayin. ;)

I love doing my man-laugh. I swear it's the most fun thing ever. I do it all the time, and sometimes have been referred to as "the man laugh girl". I would like to thank Morgan Wallace for helping me discover my man laugh. Last year, Morgan was walkin to class behind me and was decided to make a fake deep laugh at the story I was telling to tick me off.. well it didnt work. I simply repeated his low, manly laugh about 12 octives lower than his original man-laugh. That moment marked history.. the man laugh had been born. The man-laugh makes me smile. I sometimes do it while I'm alone to make myself happy. Like in the shower or while I'm driving. I'm aware that this is an odd habit.. but you should try it sometime. It really makes any situation a little bit more enjoyable. This past July while I was in New Orleans for the National Youth Gathering was full of man-laughing. The entire trip down I did the man-laugh.. I did it in the hotel room.. I did it while walking the streets.. I did it all the time. The funniest thing about it was.. I'd walk up to a complete stranger, do the man-laugh, and walk away. Heck, it was hilarious!! What were the chances of coming into contact with one of those people again?? There was literally OVER 25'000 youth gathering attendees in NOLA, not including residents and other  tourists. Well, I was proven wrong. One morning while we were doing our servent event in the Lower 9th Ward in NOLA, a girl walked up to me histerically and nervously stated, " Your the.. MAN LAUGH GIRL!!???!!!..." and ran off kinda scared. I think this made my hobby of doing the man laugh even more great. I find pleasure in other people laughing at my man-laugh. I personally have a mission to make the entire world do a man-laugh at the same time. Like National Man-Laugh Day or something. This has potential to be awesome.. Is it sad to say that my goal in life is to make others do a man-laugh like me?

I think Delisa Madry is one of my favorite people ever. I really love her a lot. She is one of my better best friends. I can pretty much trust Delisa with my life.. I'm thankful to have a friend like her. Delisa is actually the person which inspired me to make a blog, so it's all her fault that I constantly share my brain activity with the internet-tional world.. She loves country music.. at first this scared me a little bit.. a black girl obsessed with country? But now I love it too much. D is my sister.. Back in 10th grade, we tried to convince Mrs.Hendon that we were sisters for her to allow us to take our spring portraits together.. we failed miserably, but still to this day are sisters. Delisa is also my puppy dog. I mean, look at her!! She has the biggest brown eyes.. kinda like a puppy!! Makes sense, huh?? Delisa is my girlfriend as well.. :) You see, Delisa and I have date nights & such all the time. I love this!! Our date nights rock. My relationship with D all came about due to Grey's Anatomy. Once again Grey's saves the day!! Anyways, Delisa and I both are HUGE Grey's fans. Every Thursday night we text  back and forth the entire show commenting on every scene throughout the show. It just so happens that my favorite character in the show has always been Torres.. the gorgeous, dark complected doctor..I don't know what it is I like about her character so much. I just love her. Well, Delisa's favorite has always been Arizona. The cute, children's doctor. We'd always joke around and call each other by our favorite character's names.. that was all fun and cute til the episode that revealed Torres & Arizona's fond fond love for one another was one more than just friends. This absolutely cracked us both up. Since that day, Delisa has been my girlfriend. I don't care what Brandon or Connor or any other man says.. Delisa Madry is my girl. :)

I like to laugh. I think I have a disorder which makes me laugh so much.. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. My laughter gets me in trouble alot. My granny likes to pinch me when I laugh in church. This makes me shut up for a minute or two. God must not mind too much.. or He wouldn't have given me a voice box. I love God. He made me a giggly, happy person. This life is fun.

k bye.   -jo :)

I'm dreaming of... A TRAMPOLINE.

It's great to be an Austin Black Bear. Tonights game against Athens was phenomenal. It's moments like tonight that make Austin different than most other schools. The pride and spirit the students at Austin have can not be expressed in words. Being a part of the student section during a neck-to-neck game like tonight's is the biggest rush.. I felt like I should've been at a college game. Everyone jumping around, screaming at the top of their lungs, dancing with the band & cheerleaders.. Austin is a family. Even when the final score was 45-41 in Athen's favor.. the black bear fans stood tall and supported our players. This is what high school is all about. Friday night football. Taking pride in who you are and where you're from. It's great to be an Austin black bear.  And hey Athens- We don't want our quarterback. You can have him.

Supposedly, I'm random. I don't agree with this statement.. How does wanting to go jump on a trampoline determine whether you're random or not? This is beyond my knowledge. I just know that I'm in an excellent mood and a trampoline seems fulfilling at the moment. I also would like a grape blowpop.. those are my favorite. Or maybe someone to twirl my hair.. that could be wonderful right about now.

I'm about sick of this heat. It's flippin September 25th.. it's not supposed to be 97 degrees every dang day!! Especially for people like me.. I've diagnosed myself with extremely overactive sweat glands.. this diagnosis does not mix very well with the heat. I don't really have a problem with a little bit of sweat.. it's actually kind of sexy, well on Tim TeBow or some other big,buff, beautiful hunk of man.. but profuse amounts of sweat is just plain disgusting. I guess I'm disgusting. I sweat more than ANY human being.. This is a known fact. In soccer this week, we simply WALKED the track for about an hour and 15 minutes.. I was DRENCHED in sweat. This was not my most attractive moment. Don't forget pep rallies.. Lord have mercy. Today in the pep rally I literally was sweating so much it looked as though some spitting llama had attacked my forehead.  You know, sweating wouldn't bother me near as much if it didnt effect everything about me, including my hair. Whenever I sweat even a tad bit, my entire head of hair sprouts out and frizzes out into a big, poofy disaster. Why did God bless me with overactive sweat glands & curly nasty hair? Some things I will never understand..

Blogging is fun. I'm not too good at it. I don't write super deep, profound entries everyday. I don't discuss my opinion on controdicting issues. I don't use big, intellegent words like most bloggers do. I simply write.. well in this case, type. I like doing this.. It kind of is my personal way of venting. I like to vent. This may be why I love this blog. Hmm, maybe I should change my blogging technique to match those of the smart kids. Ehh, I think I'm okay. I'm not really one for molding into what others want. I enjoy being diferent. I'll admit: I am odd. I am childish. I like to smile. I like to laugh at stupid comments. I like being the wierd kid. I guess my blog reflects this characteristic I have.. O well. I'm still going to blog it up, HOMEBOY!!! Blogging makes me smile. :)  & it aint cuzzz I prurrrtty, I noeee dat!! Hahaha!!

k bye.  -jo :)

"People are either born simple.. or me."

                         Friend : a person you know well and regard with affection and trust;

 I think we all can agree that having a friend is great. Someone to hang out with, someone to listen to all your secrets, someone to genuinly love you.. but what does all that mean without trust? Trust is the foundation of ANY sort of relationship; whether it be between a boss & employee, or man and wife. To love means to acquire trust; or that relationship does not reflect love at all. This is the problem with everyone of us.. we people, as a whole, don't let ourselves trust others. We put up a boundary.. and if things even approach that line.. our relationship is then shaken. We don't know how to handle the situation, which leads to an even worse situation that we can not fix. We start to build lies on top of lies, to the point where we don't know the truth anymore. And in the mist of all of that- we lose ourselves. We forget our morals and beliefs. We lose our confidence and dignity. Our entire image has been abandoned. Which ends up in self-destruction.. and that relationship: it no longer exists. Trust is the dictator in our relationships. If we can not trust our  so called friends.. then those people are not our friends. I'm thankful for my friends.. thankful for my TRUE friends. I have many friends and acquaintances.. but how many are my true friends? How many of those people are ashamed to be called my friend? How many of those people stab me in the back? How many of those people genuinly love me? Those are all questions I regularly ask myself.. but the better question is- How many of those people can I trust?

I do believe when God created the sun and the stars, He created me. And when God created me, He created Grey's Anatomy. Grey's Anatomy makes me happy, almost as happy as Ellen DeGeneres makes me.. but not quite. I absolutely love it. Think about it, sexy men playing the roles of amazing surgeons and doctors that save people's lives on an every day basis.. not to mention what goes on after hours. (Jesus forgive me) Oooooo Weeeee.. this is one subject I NEVER get tired of talking about.

Anyways, tonight was the 1st episode of the new season. AHHHH!!!! :)) LOVED IT!!! Although the beautiful men in the show REALLY catch my attention.. I love the message revealed in each episode through the characters. Tonight, Yang, whom is not my favorite woman on the show, really opened my eyes. She was talking about models and future brides in this specific wedding magazine she was reading.. and how happy they all seemed. She preceded to ramble on about how she used to feel sorry for them and how she now has grown to realize that they're all really simple. They all know what they want, they all have confidence and grace.. they simply have it all together: they are the simple women of this world. Then she began to critique herself. She pointed out several flaws she saw in herself, she pointed out that simple women don't get the abuse and weight of the world dished onto their plate.. it's those non-simple women like her that are faced with difficulty. I loved this specific scene. I, like Yang, am not simple. I am not perfect. I have many flaws. I am not confident, and I do not know where I will go in life.. I am complex. Although, I'm not sure if the writer of this scene intended for this conversation to have any relevance other than Yang's pre-wedding melt down in the show, but it sure made an impact on my heart. I am not simple. I am not many things, and I'm proud to reveal those flaws. Because, I am wonderfully and fearfully made. God has a purpose for me, just like Yang has a purpose in the show.

I would also like to add, Mrs.Debra Robinson makes the absolute BEST ravioli in cheese sauce EVER. I now blame her for my obeisity.

Dear Patrick Dempsey, Marry me. Your beautiful. and I love you. The end.

k bye.   -jo :)

John 14:1-4

Life doesn't always make sense. We can't control many things, regardless of what politicians and scientists say.. Computers mess up, our hair decides to unleash an untameable beast, terrorists attack our country, cancer devours the lives of our companions.. the impossible happens. Life simply isn't fair.


Isn't it ironic how you can spend time with someone one, then turn around and that same day something absolutely devastating has changed that person's life forever? Today, I heard some of the most awful news ever. Mrs.Brown, better known as the lady behind the desk in the Main Office at AHS, a woman I love very much and respect dearly, came home from work to find her husband dead from a heart attack. When I heard of this tragedy, I was absolutely in shock. I was just with Mrs.Brown in the office this morning!! She was happy as could be, just returned home from visiting with her family in another state, and now.. her entire life is changed forever. Her "normal" life as it has been for the past 40 years, no longer remains. Her husband and companion for so long isn't alive anymore.. How does she find the strength to carry on? What can others do to support her? Someone can only eat so much homemade, yummy "comfort" food.. What can we say to her to let her know we're here for her?


A few years ago when my Granddad's life was coming to an end, Pastor Eddie shared a special bible passage with him.. This passage has been carved into my heart since that moment. My Granddad's death wasn't very easy for me to cope with.. I still have those emotional days that I miss him more than anything. But on those days, during my saddness and grief, I hear God reminding me of His love and His promise.. I hear this passage.. If I could only tell Mrs.Brown and her family one thing right now, I'd read them
this..


"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."


This passage IS God's promise to us, this passage is God's promise to Mrs.Brown. Although Mrs.Brown is a strong, and faithful servant of the Lord, she is going through a hard time.. and will for quite some time. But God is with Mrs.Brown during this hard time. God is wrapping His arms around her, assuring her that He will be with her always. For God has as a plan.. a plan to prosper her and give her a future.. as He already has her husband. Her husband is no longer a part of this sinful place, he has now recieved hiis victory with God in heaven.. and that, if nothing else, allows Mrs.Brown and her family the strength to carry on.


God is good. 

Don't Stop Believin..

 So, tonight was great, both Glee and Biggest Loser had their season premieres. I know, I know, I sound like a T.V freak.. I guess I really am. I haven't ever been a huge fan of Glee, we would watch the 1st season in drama class last year, I just never really got into it.. but the episode tonight was KILLIN. I am the biggest fan of the cute, little blonde that had the baby and got into a fight.. typical me, huh? I think I may be a Glee-er now.. Is that even what they're called? I need to be caught up on all this Glee history.

 I want to go on Biggest Loser. I've been informing my parents that our family would be great for it, but my mom disagrees. So, I think my dad & I should go on. He hasn't really agreed to this yet, but he will... I will use my magic. :) I just absolutely love watching Biggest Loser every season. I think Jill is the coolest woman ever.She in my opinion is one of the most influential women alive. Although she is beasty and looks a whole lot like a man, I like her viscousness. Maybe she & I should be friends..

 I really don't like watching Biggest Loser. It in a sense depresses me. I mean, look at those people. Its awful how their entire lives are affected by their wieght.. they are truly unhappy and terminally ill due to obesity. It literally makes me sick. You know, people have always told me, "You're not fat, Jordan.. Your size doesn't even really matter, it's what's inside that truly matters.." But I disagree. I am too overweight, and I despise it. I try to do what I can to get healthy. I workout, I try to eat right (mom just makes too many cookies.. I blame her), I don't drink cokes or eat salt.. I hate my dad for this. I hate having high blood pressure. I hate taking medicine for it that causes me to blow up like a balloon. Something I've realized in my 17 years: Genetics really suck.

My annonymous bestfriend (is that better?) told me once that I had a really good personality.. then about 15 minutes later she added," You know, most really fat people have a really awesome personality.." Yes, I assumed she was calling me really fat, although she claims that she wasn't and didn't even realize the connection. I didn't need her comment to make me think that I was fat. I have always thought so. I've always had low self-esteem. Many people think I have it all together, I have fooled them into believing I am confident in my own shoes. Well, I have a confession: I'm not. I don't like myself. I don't like one single thing about me. I sound emo or something, but I'm really not. I have no intentions on hurting myself, I just don't like me. Simple as that.

Curly hair is absolutely beautiful. I'd kill to have Taylor Swift's natural hair. I don't like that she curls it with a curler.. Natural curls are waaaaaaay prettier. I have curly-nasty hair.. but it's not very appealing. Maybe someday Taylor will pull a Britney & let me have her hair as a wig.

Why don't people use their fists anymore? Seems like more and more people are "solving" their disputes with guns and weapons.. What's the point in that? Come on people. If you have a problem with someone and talking it out just isn't making things right and their actions insist physical involvement.. USE YOUR FISTS. Lay it on 'em one good time, give them a big black jewel to show all their friends.. and call it quits. Stop using weapons such as guns.. all it's going to do is cause more difficulty..LIKE JAIL. I, like most of society, would appreciate if you could start using a little common sense. Thank you.

My brother isn't the brightest crayon in the box. Tonight, he really proved that by flipping the recliner backwards. I believe it was the funniest thing I've ever witnessed in my entire life. I was just innocently walking out of my bedroom door.. then BANG. There goes my brother and the chair backwards. He was  laying there, staring at the ceiling for a good 5 minutes. This was one of the few moments I'll admit to actually appreciating my brother's presence.. So P.J , Thank you VERY much for acting like a complete idiot and flipping the recliner. It made my day.

Blogging is fun. But my bed is even more welcoming..

K bye.  -jo. :)

K bye.  -jo. :)

"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it." -Oprah.

 Sometimes I want to run away, to Delaware maybe? That seems like a pretty sweet place. I don't want to run due to problems or stress, although I'm tempted to every now and then.. but simply for the fact that running brings me joy. When I'm running I feel free, almost as free as a jew escaping a concentration camp. I realize that's that the best of comparisons.. but it'll work. Running makes me feel good about myself, I don't get that feeling very often.. Running gives me the opportunity to push myself beyond my limit, to better myself. Running is my personal type of rehab. I guess that's why I have missed it so much.

Today I ran for the first time since I had the operation on my foot to remove that disgusting wart, which left a lovely hole in it's place. Joyous, huh? The podiatrist told me not to wear closed heel shoes or run for a minimum of about 3-4 weeks.. but I rebelled. I couldn't handle the restraint any longer. Sitting around doing nothing was eating me alive.. so needless to say I had to run. I just had to. So, I did. And... it was PAINFUL. Not really as bad throughout my run, but as soon as I slowed down- it hit me. I felt like someone was literally jerkins at my "hole" with tweezers.. ripping my skin into pieces.. this was not fun. But now, after I doctored my sore,  I feel great!! I love this feeling of satisfaction. I can't wait to run again in soccer block tomorrow. :)

Black day isn't my favorite, I honestly can say I don't like it. I hate having 3 core classes in one day.. I normally just feel so drained afterwards.. but today wasn't too bad. Mrs.Brown wasn't present in the office today, she's is Soth Carolina with her precious grandchild.. so Mrs.Conthran was there in her place. I like that little lady a lot. She's probably in her early 70's , but let me tell ya- she's still kickin. I don't think I've ever seen her in a bad mood, she absolutely brightens my day with her presence. Every time I see her she bebops on over to me and swarms me in her arms with the most welcoming, loving hugs. I keep her updated on country music, even though she isn't very fond of it. I informed her about Don Williams coming out of retirement for a tour with Joey & Rory, and that he's expected to come to the VBC on October 31. She kind of got the impression that I was only telling her that information since she was old and might know him.. but that wasn't true.. She doesn't know one song by the man. Goodness, she is a hoot and a half.

Mrs.Stroh tells me I write too much.. that I don't have the ability to limit myself to only the basic essentials of the story & its guidelines. I guess she's right. It took me a few seconds to accept her criticism. I've always been taught to be descriptive and broad, and have never really had any trouble with it. So hearing that comment really upset me at first. But now, I really appreciate her. Although she is a bit nutty and extravagent, she truly is a good teacher that wants the best out of her students.. and I'm thankful for that.

I miss Julia alot. Friendships are difficult when you  live in two completely opposite parts of the world. Germany is too far for me. Some days I just cry cause I want her here in Decatur with me. I don't cry because I'm scared of losing her, I cry because I'm greedy. I know it's stupid, and I know it's selfish, I just really want Julia.. and nothing else or no one else can please me. I want my bestfriend here with me. I WANT JULIA. Why did God make me love Julia so much? Doesn't He know how much it hurts being away from her? I'm really aggravated with this whole concept. I can't quite grasp God's purpose for it, and that makes my frustration even worse. I really wish God could text me the answer.. but I probably wouldn't be satisfied with just that.. I'd still want to see Julia.

I need to go to bed. I have bootcamp early in the morning. I had coffee. This is not good.

k bye.    -jo :)


"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
 -Phillipians 3:14.

Prepare for my rant..

People really confuse me. How can things between two people be so great one minute.. then you don't talk at all? Nothing you know of really caused this distance, I guess you just grew apart? I don't understand this. Why do we just stop? Why is it so easy to move on? I don't understand and it really upsets me. I can put my heart and soul into a relationship with you, then you just stop? Completely? Betrayal is something I don't handle very lightly.This is my problem in life: I trust too easily, I love too deep. I like to confine in other people, and I like for them to confine in me. Although I'd like to believe everyone is trustworthy and dependable.. That statement is false. There are only a select few people I can honestly trust. This lesson is one I've learned multiple times. You'd think I'd learn by now?

I hate being lied to as well. I'm sorry for believing in telling the truth. I don't appreciate when others completely deny something to my face, when we both know good and well you're making up some great bs. This goes back to betrayal. Betraying others, especially your so called "friends", and not being honest with them doesn't make you look any better sweetheart, no matter how good of a story you're telling. This has really been sitting on my chest for a while. I'm glad I have blogged about it . :)

I really wish I could fly. Peter Pan makes it look so fun. I wish I could just fly away, and leave all the world behind. Just let loose, me and the big blue sky..Soaring thru the crisp night air. Doesn't it sound amazing? I have lots of questions. Why can't humans fly? Why don't we have beautiful angel wings? I hate not knowing. I wish God had a telephone, I'd call him.

 Tonight, like every other night, I spent time with Elise.I do like her alot. I mean, yes. We all have "bestfriends", and believe me- I''ve had my fair share of people that I thought were my "bestie". But there is just something about the friendship that Elise and I have, it's something I really cherish. We became friends in the most ridiculous way.. but we became bestfriends thru something so real, through our struggles. Before she ran away, we were good friends, we hung out often. But after, once I realized she needed me, once she realized I was there for her when she needed a friend, that's when we realized we were best friends. I love having a person I can talk to about anything, someone who genuinly understands where I'm coming from and can handle my flaws. I've never really had a friend like Elise. She is real. She is honest. She has real-life problems. And she admits these things. I love that about her. I wish everyone could admit their problems. I have a hard time with this. I think we weigh each other out in this aspect. Although she is completely honest, she still encourages me more than I could ever encourage myself. She reminds me of how beautiful and wonderful I am, even though she knows she can't make me believe it, and that she's probably wasting her time. She is always on my side, and will never let me dig a hole deeper than I know how to get out of.  I don't know what I'm going to do without her if that time ever comes. We spend almost every second with each other, and never really argue. Even though I'm quite abusive. She knows me better than I know myself most days. I just really am thankful for Elise. She means the world to me, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that she is my best friend. God is great. He has blessed me with a wonderful, beautiful, and absolutely fabulous bestfriend that I love beyond measure.

Country music pretty much sums up my life. I love it with all my heart and soul. I fantasize about becoming a country star.. Too bad I can't sing or play guitar. I guess I'll just keep listening to Miranda & Brad. :))

K bye.   -jo :)

So shine, shine.. Shine where you are.. You are the light of the world.

  Everyone has that one thing that lets them shine.. a special talent or gift. I've always wanted to be able to do something cool.. like to be a gymnist.. or to be able to make  a super cool oragami thing..or even to be one of those awesome authority dudes in the army. For my bestfriend, Elise, it's her ability to act and be on stage, I've never watched someone else have so much confidence in themselves. For one of the most special kids in my life, Annsleigh, it's her dancing. Others are experts at guitar (which I REALLY am dying to learn), or singing, or some type of sport.. It just seems like everyone has something good going for them. For me, it's children. I just absolutely can't imagine myself in life anywhere with out a kid or two. Even as a young munchkin, I always had the tendency to mother my friends and the other kids that surrounded me.. but maybe that was simply because I really like being in charge? Who knows.. Haha :)) Yet there are lots of people out there that have the talent to do something really amazing, but absolutely despise it. Weird huh? But I guess for me, my "gift", if you could call it that, with kids isn't just that.. it's my passion. Being around kids is where I find my happiness. I honestly believe that a child's smile is the most beautiful picture God has ever created. I love to just listen to the giggles, and the goofy conversations. I am blessed to have so many opportunities to do the things I like. I get to work with 1st & 2nd grade Powerhour every other Sunday..I occasionally get to do Children's Messages at church.. I go to Chesnut Grove for ambassadors to work with Mrs.Teagues 2nd grade class.. I babysit the most wonderful group of kids.. there are ALWAYS children at my house.. I honestly have so many amazing kids in my life.. and I wouldn't trade them for the world. :))

  One of those kids is Kolby Dixon. I love that boy more than words can express. I swear up and down that he and I are soulmates.. we're meant to be bestfriends, which he somedays agrees to. Just seeing his cute, chubby cheeks and gorgeous, big blue eyes makes my day a whole lot better. Not to mention the sweet, completely random comments that come out of his mouth. During Crosslive at church today, Pastor Chris was up doing that whole God forgiving our transgressions and iniqities part of the service.. He got to the part where he names off " in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit..". USUALLY that's where the congregation together says "amen" to finish the prayer.. well Pastor Chris had no intentions of stopping there today.. so he kept on talkin. But right after he said that phrase Kolby let out a big, "AMEN!!". It was the most precious thing I've ever heard. Of course, most of the congregation heard him and were snickering and giggling to themselves.. I just smiled. He made my day.


I'm very excited. I got mail today. Yes, I should probably go back to watching Blue's Clues where mailtime was a SUPER important part of the day. Anyways, I got a package in the mail today from Concordia University in Austin, Texas.. and it had a special little hand written note just for me from the admissions guy!!! Many people don't really know what Concordia is.. and that's okay. Concordia is a Lutheran Seminary university.. like a christian college. Well, ever since I was 12 I have dreamed of attending a Concordia (there are like 11 across the country), mainly Concordia Texas. Maybe I just like Texas because Teri went there? (Teri is pretty much the biggest influence in my life and I LOVE her.) Or maybe its because cowboys live in Texas? I don't know. All I know is that I love it. I guess I have made this huge picture in my mind of Concordia being so far away and that attending there isn't possible.. like it's in some fairytale, enchanted dream of mine. But recieving that package brought it to reality. It actually is possible, I can go to Concordia, well if I get accepted and somehow find the funds to get there. I just can't wait. I want to just drop everything else and go right now!! My excitement is consuming my body!!


Not alot of things really piss me off. But my cell phone somehow has succeeded. It seems like every one I get messes up in some fashion. The one I have now freezes up and randomly turns on & off.. I mean really? What's up with this.. I can't even carry on one decent conversation without something crazy going on. Isn't this why I bought a new one? Uhh. I think I may just give up on having a cell phone. Can we please just go back to the time where writing notes/letters by hand was acceptable? Maybe even deliver it by horse and buggy? I've always wanted to let the world know that "THE FRENCH ARE COMING!!".. This could be a revolution.


I have a confession: I am hereby a Sonic-aholic. I'm more than addicted. I'm in love. It's a wonder that the car-hops at Sonic don't ban me. I mean, I'm there 6 out of 7 days a week. This past spring break we went to Arkansas to visit family, I drove my dad insane begging for a Sonic-run. I was literally in withdraws. Is it sad that I refuse to live in a town without a Sonic in it? This is not a healthy habit. O well, at least I'm not doing drugs.


K bye :))  -jo.

The Beginning.

 I said I'd never have one of these. I said I wouldn't blog for the whole world to see. But, I have finally given in. I have made a blog. Why? Simply for the fact that I  love to write. Just by having the freedom to express myself however I'd wish satisfies me. So, This is the beginning of something new, this starts my blog(s).


Change is difficult, and I don't know whether I like it or not. Yes, I love surprises and doing something a little different.. but where do I define the line? How do I know the change I'm making is right for me? Recently I've noticed that the way my life is going today will not be the same next year, and it kind of frightens me. This is the beginning of the end. I'm finally a senior. This time next year,I'll HOPEFULLY be off at college, somewhere far away from home. Is it wrong to be so excited to move on, yet so scared of what is to come? 
 It seems like just yesterday I was seven years old walking thru the ditch, toting a box full of Barbies to go play at Kaeden's every afternoon. Now I'm a senior in high school? How is this even possible? I remember longing to be a senior, thinking about how cool it would be. But now that it's here, it's very bittersweet. I FINALLY have the opportunity to do those "senior" things.. Make a crown, stand in the front of the student section, wear the Senior Girl jersey.. all that good stuff. Although everyone of those activities are exciting and super great, I just sometimes want to go back to kindergarten; I want to run and play with my "bff's", take long naps, and cuddle up with my granddad. Somedays I just don't want to grow up. I don't want to leave all my friends and family. But all the other days, I am ecstatic. I can't wait to go and live out my dreams, to make new relationships with new people.. How can I be so flip-floppy?


I may not understand why.. or even how quite yet, but my life will play on. I can't live my life in fear and I can't be afraid of change. I have to face reality; the beginning of something new and something better is coming my way..


Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.