"you'd find God's grace in every mistake & always give more than you take.."

   Christians and nonchristians both criticize and critique Eve for taking a chomp or two out of that fruit from the forbidden tree in the Garden of Eden.. and yes, I admit I've done it a few times as well. It is hard to pass up the convenience to blame the failures and wrongdoings I commit on her, especially since her action first brought sin into the world.
   But you know, in a way we all resemble Eve. Each and everyone of us are sinners, and if we were in her situation, we would have made the same actions that she did. Think about it, this little slithery creature comes on up to you, insisting that you take a bite out of a delicious & desirable, piece of fruit.. a piece of fruit that with one chew will make you all-knowing like God. Sounds pretty good, huh? I have to admit, I would have wanted to take a bite too. You know, Eve remembered that God had strictly and directly informed her NOT to eat anything which came off of that tree.. but that little slithery demon convinced her that God was "just kiddin". Think this isn't relevant to our life? In today's terms it could probably be translated better by a boyfriend/girlfriend when they say, "Its okay.. I love you. Come on, just have sex with me. God will understand that we're not married, he was just kiddin about that waiting 'til marriage stuff.." or a friend which insists, "C'mon, take a sip, take a puff.. Just do it. Nothings wrong with having a little fun. God will forgive you in the morning.." 
   You see, we are ALL guilty. We ALL do wrong and make mistakes.We are ALL sinners. There is absolutely no way to sugar-coat that or try to beat around the bush. Sin is our specialty as humans, and until we are in heaven with Christ, there is no way to hide from it. This is something I've recently realized.
   My entire life I have just went through life, repenting and asking God to forgive me of my sins.. when I really don't know for sure if I was genuinely sorry for them. Yeah, I felt bad, but was that really what God means by repenting? To repent is listed in the dictionary as: To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one's mind regarding it. God says in Ezekiel 18:31-32, "Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live!"
    Then, why is it SO hard for me to admit my sins? Especially since I know that God already knows what I did.. Why do I run from my mistakes?  Aren't mistakes supposed to make us stronger? Are they not learning experiences? If so, why do I feel so terrible? Why do I feel like I have disobeyed God and that He is angry with me? Why do I feel like my parents despise me? Why can't I get over it? Why am I constantly reminded of my wrong-doing? The only answer to this is simple : Satan. Satan is viscous. Satan tries to work his way into everything, and sometimes is successful. & once he does, he brainwashes me into believing that I am horrid. That God will never forgive me, that my parents hate me. That I am not a child of God.
  But not this time. This time, I am learning from my mistakes. I am not going to allow myself to be brainwashed.. I may not be able to stop Satan from plotting his way into my life.. but I CAN rebuke him and his evil ways. I can change my actions. I can repent and truly be sorry for my actions. My plate has been wiped clean, perfectly clean, by God through His love. A love so strong that it is binded through and with the blood of Jesus. I may not be perfect, but I AM a child of God.